Complicated.. random words and feelings..

total 19 posts, last published 13 sep 2009

hi... after the long long dream.. i finally relize.. im asleep.. not awake...
= =''

Quoted from everyone : "love life is complicated."

You havent try, u never know...

I dont know how to put it correctly...
but its true..

hahaha...
Dreaming la you sam...

Express my feeling here.. sometimes its just so top secret how i wish i can release everything out and then lock it somewhere...
if this blog is just not under my name.. ish.. haha..

The problem i face in writing the blog is i cant think of the words and actually what the reason i want to type... but before facing the keyboard and computer.. words fill up my mind..
LOL =x

ok... this way i should put..

Dear,
When you accepted me.. I promised that I will never give up... There isnt even a chance or a little small hole that makes it possible..
It started off shakily... i understand... Proving to you was too little..
Thanks for trusting and gave me part of you to me. =)
So i thought, maybe i should do something to prove it since i wasnt *pro-active* enough..

so bla bla bla....

continue on next time la..

now i want to spit out my heart...
serious chest pain.. ><''
not heart attack right? =x
hehe.. (if you are reading this and im still alive... means im still alive lor.. xD)

i like to use example to explain things.. something that is very clear of is *the wound*.
The wound would be like a cut... a deep deep cut on your skin... then its called a wound...
it will bleed for awhile.. but then the wound will close up..
and normally layer of skin will grow on top...

similarly, you were hurt by someone.. that someone hurt you deep enough to make you have nightmares.. o.o''
haha..
so of course.. you'll make sure that there is no more second time.. rite? sure lah..
there for, u create *the skin* on top of your wound...

Dear, you are protecting it very very hard.. i understand it very much..
i respect you as who you are..

but since you have accepted me.. why cant you just lower down a little of your *skin* to let me be there to help you cure and mend the wound?

of course its a little greedy of me.. but if i dont.. when will i be then... outside watching you bleed internally with a fake protection on top of it..

Getting towards ilogical thinking already.............................................

let me cool down.. i revise for a moment..

the protection of you is making my self esteem to be lower down...
the trust is not there... without the trust.. how can we continue on...
Im just very very very very afraid.. i tell you.. afraid that what if... you continue to do that..
and i have reached my limits... (downwards limit) i'll let go...
which i hope it never ever N E V E R happens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NO!
but it may... if you continue doing things like that to hurt me..

for those who dont understand.. just let it be.. thx for reading my blog btw..
its just part of my feelings.. hehe...

dear... i told you almost everything since then.. how izit possible that you can blame that i am lying you on some other things..?
i am being truthful to you but somehow you are not very much...

im hurt so badly today... 3.42am dec 30th 2009..
eyes are heavy now..
eyes are tired.. mind is tired.. heart is also tired.. tomolo will always be a new day for me..

things happens and all are taken as an experience and bad things a taken in as a reminder and also lessons to me...
gambateh sam!
till the end of time..
once the switch is off.. im dead.. =)

signing off.
sam~

新Style!

奇怪。。
这次不知怎么想用华语表达自己的心情。。
哈哈
换一换style嘛。。

考试咯。。
朋友们！加油！
我就不知道我自己了
考了两天
第一天的还好吧。。Public Speaking 咯~
第二天的。。好压力咯 Maths
最讨厌的一科。 ><
在考场时，我突然脑袋空空叻。。
深呼吸一下。。
肚子又响。。 adui..
最后把所有会的写下来。
有一题是用到graph纸...
我还以为做我隔壁那个人会做。。让我有机会偷看下。
哪里知道她什么都没画。就交上去==
我炸到下咯。。
haix...

接下来的有 English, Econs, Computer Studies 和 Accounts.
一定要加油咯！

To 全部有帮我的朋友。。谢咯！
没有的你们的话我看我一定Repeat 了。。
数学很有可能会了。。aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa T.T

To apple dear
muacks.haha..

dannysam
Signing out,
1.59pm 13/9/2009

oh and i just notice that another 10 days will be my burbday! kekekex. old lohh.

July was the last post... Now its new...

So what now? Impossible?
*slapping myself each day* crying in the bed every night... since...

><...
Sort of regretted saying the truth now.. and it became a reality...
I was afraid so and now it really happened...
Guess the impact on ya'll wasnt strong enough when i told you my story...

HISTORY HAS REPEATED ITSELF!
and the consiquences is? i'll lose another friend...

Well thats basically the negative part of it...
Same like you berry.. I guess i'll let go and forget it...
><
====================================================================

Recently its weird... Although enjoying life in campus... of course many times.. that I find myself quarreling with some of my group members.. I really hope it doesnt bring down and leave a mark or a scar...
Im really afraid!
Sensitivity... I highly aware of everything Im doing but when its uncontrollable..

*Screams into the pillow*
So here... I would like to apologize to all if I have done wrong and really hurt you guys..
You're hurt and so I shall be too.. ><

====================================================================

Its here... Its here and Its here...
The one that I had feared all this while.. ITS HERE!!
when you say..
Its ONE Semester *aiyah.. One Semester very long one..*
When you say its 14 weeks *What lah.. 14 weeks still far away lah*
When you say its Mid-Term *Yorr.. Why so fast one.. Mid-Term liao ah?*
When you say its week 10 *Wei!! Week 10 liao! Two digit liao.. Canot play play liao...*
And now coming to the end of week 12... I am almost finish spelling out the word F A I L.
DANG! I DONT WANTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!
NOooo!!!

Top 2 subjects that I really needa concetrace.. I mean Concentrate!
1. Accounts
2. Maths in Business and Social Science

Study will be what my mind and mouth say and the otherwise goes to the heart...
ish..
====================================================================

Hot Topic now... 2nd Trimester!! TimahTablekah... TimeTable!!
1st word...
adui..
2nd word...
ish...
3rd word...
Faint...

Utar : You are now granted the ability to choose ya'll timetable!
Check it out.. yo yo yo! ==

Im asking myself this.. Do you want to follow your friends... or do you want to go according to the plans so that it is flexible for you...
This answer here i really need to know.. leave it at my shoutbox.. or whatever you call it...

There is a plan.. but its not nice to be told out here.. Those who knows keep it... Those who doesnt dont ask.. ><
=====================================================================

Emo.. <<>
Girls often have it.. Do boys have?
University students may still have some children temper inside them.. so its very easy to find a person emo-ing..

Do I emo? To be honest... I CAN'T. Something comes... ok well i Emo awhile.. but it doesn't stay long in me.. Indirectly losing it.. no idea how and why too..
Just like today... I was really really mad of Kar Hong.. He kept saying things that made me angry.. but just for that few hours.. that few minutes.. I lost the anger..
I did emo at first.. then from what i remembered.. I was the one who talked back to him...
What the..

Emo wouldn't be a healthy thing if ya asked me..
Share it out.. if its something open.. or just release it.. you live life better..
hehe..

signing off,
2.58am 21st August 2009
Dannysam =D

Friday NIte, Saturday and SUnday.. *In a Breath*

HU HA!
was busy the whole weekend Saturday Sunday.
After the HU HA.. suddenly felt that im missing my family.. ><
So after computer studies on friday.. everything was a rush..
Me and my group had an awesomely BBQ nite together at Sze Yin House..
Thanks to all and especially Melvin, Boon, Yie Nan, Sze Yin too..
Without you all there wont be the fun there..


Posing for the camera =)
hehe..

One thing I was worried was the guys who drank alot of Heneiken..
Maybe have to control abit if there is a next time

The cake fight was really fun! I'll betcha! haha..
but I was actually scolded by the others upstairs for not telling them
that I was going to switch off the switch.. It kinda spoilt my mood. ><

So before the night ended, a few of us gathered and play the game truth or dare
on the Promise of
*Those who leak out or do not tell the thruth will not be able to Pass Foundation*

It was fun of course and also it made me understand you all more. =)

So, around 3am, I went back and slept. lolz...

Next day was boring..
I expected myself to wake up at 12pm but I actually woke up at 10am. Weird luh..
Woke up and took a bath, did some cleaning of the room.. arranging my stuff..
then met up with sze yin and went to Uni together. Accounting tutorial was as usual..
after it ended, we gathered outside and had some hotdogs and bread which was the leftover
from the BBQ. lolz.. everyone enjoyed it i guess.
But then, something very unusual happened. Kar Hong car's screen cracked...
Not knowing how did it became like that... he just hopped onto Melvin's car and went to
some workshop to call people to repair.

Each time i look at the screen, my goose bump just stand.. no idea why..
Thinking of it now makes it stands too.. *Brrr*
anyway, it cost about RM300. Ouch ><

In the afternoon, I had econs meeting.. then a shorter meeting for accountings at Barley's house.

Nothing much happened..

Around 12 i slept, and in the morning around 4am it rained. Somehow my body woke up and switched off
my laptop and modem.. Not knowing by me.. lolz..
I slept till 12pm till I realized that I had a meeting with my english group at 12.
haha...
Then while waiting for everybody.. Suddenly Yie Seng showed up..
He explained that he had his night over at my house but with Qin Yi.
Then I saw Foai with mango in the room too.
I went O.O~ = =
Really so surprise lah.. 4 person in a room lolz..

afternoon was lame.. meeting meeting meeting.. had lunch then meeting meeting meeting..
those who were around was Wendy, Barley, Sze Yin, Mr Teoh,and Strawberry with TS which joined us for lunch.

Thats all I Guess.
1.47am now..
Better drop down to bed and sleep.
Finished my slides and notes for presentation for english.. Happy LOlx.

signing off,
dannysam. ^^

SUPER HOT BLOG! IMA BACK!

WEIRD...
long time loh.. long time lohhhh...
lost liao de sam...
IS BACK!

xDD

Lolz..

so okay.. currently not planning to leave anything about the pass 7 months that i spent.
maybe starting from today.

hohoho..
Since the english class was changed to early in the morning.. 8am..
i slept early last nite.. however.. sad case was.. i still didn't make it in time in the morning.
=.=''
class was at 8 and i only woke up at 7.45am.
15 minute to rush all the stuff that i usually take my sweet time to do.. lolz..

so managed to reach Uni at 8.15am. Went along with another housemate but did not told him about
me being late. lolz..

Reached Uni.. then went to fill up my empty bottle.. then rushed together with another group 9 member
into lecture hall.
lol..

1 thing i shouldnt had said after going into the lecture hall was to kar cheng *ah jie* that I said it
was a inheritance of *being late*.
maybe i hurt her.. plan to say sorry tomorrow. =x
Sat down.. quickly gave out the lecture notes..
hoho.. sorry la guys.. gave you all abit late.. the notes >.<>
as I was already late and how dare of me to sleep lagi? lol.. = . =
so opened eyes and listen listen listen..
then teacher gave a title and ask us to write Journal. lolz.. F.Y.I. (For Your Info) I think that
DIARY = JOURNAL lolzzz

What I wrote was :
What will Tomorrow be like? What will Tomorrow be like? Many movies showing the future ends up like its the end of the world.. or manybe creatures and robots conquer the world. For me, I personally think that tomorrow is something unpredictable. Maybe tomorrow, Badawi will step down as the Prime Minister. Maybe a hurricane destroys half of Malaysia. Maybe Westlake Danish House (The place I am Staying) suddenly sinks into the filled up empty mine. Or Maybe you will not be around in this world tomorrow... Who Knows?

wahahaha.. thats all..
Y K W.. (you know what)
I was really hoping that Melvin, Ragu and Boon will choose me to go out.. but sad.. ><
let miss strawberry go out.. and also took the same title as I was..
What the ........

So, after that was presentation.
Then after English lecture.. we went to Cafeteria to eat lunch..
then the few of us.. went to reading room to search for a place to study the maths test..
of course we had some fun together.. chit chat abit.. discuss abit..
but chit chat more lah.. hohoo..

then all went for test.. It was exactly what we predicted and many of us was quite satisfied.. lolz..
(Censored some part of here) (due to some laws and regulation) (terms and conditions too) =x

after that we went for lunch.. then went to block B and waited for Econs class.. 4pm..
we were dismiss at 1pm for the test and we had to wait till 4pm for the next econs tutorial class.
@#$%& lah. ==
Nvm that..

then.. skipping the things done before tutorial class..
we all went home and then gathered at Sze Yin house to get ready the stuff for BBQ for tomorrow.
Those who were there was *SY,Melvin,Boon,Karen,YieNan,Kar Hong, Me,Barley*
to my surprise.. we saw TS and Strawberry jogging outside the house..
Not sure what were they up to.. but I summoned them into the house.. kekekekekes..

after that boon, as the leader of Makan.. took charge of the chicken wings which needed to be defrost
and seasoned. haha.. x100 thank you to boon. =)
oh ya, thanks to karen, strawberry, Barley, and SY too for giving mental support..
which didn't really helped.. lolz..

So that basically the events that happened..
1 thing i felt was.. today time pass by super slow luh.. why uh? haiz..

thats all,
signing out,

dannysam =)
9.37pm

P/s : Group TA10, I really love you guys.. To be honest.. I was (as in 1st week and 2nd week) jealous with
another group which had the group members which were so close and friendly.. but.. finally I myself realize
that it was actually in my group where i found this closeness and friendliness more.. =))
<33 TA10 xD.
and P/s : Don't keep bully me lah.. One day I'll revenge! muhahahaha!